leannepuke

Sunday Afternoon - The Lazy Unfuck

Woke up with the headache version of a hangover, so I laid in bed, ate goldfish crackers and watched How I Met Your Mother. 

After feeling like a pathetic shell of a human, I got up, laid in the bathtub with my iPhone (a potentially expensive bath if my hands get slippery, I know) and read the past few UFYH blogs to get myself motivated. 

I stole a Clean Your House playlist from Spotify and started simple with “Make your bed.” and moved on to sorting down the laundry that I would most need for next week and then throwing away 50 things. I definitely trashed more than 50 — in fact, I filled 1 1/2 trashbags with nonsense. 

My method of a quick clean-up has always been to dump everything into big plastic tubs and shove them into my closet. Then, when I am feeling especially motivated, I grab the tub and try to consolidate. Today I combined two tubs into one. Baby steps, people. I put all of my gift wrapping stuff from holidays and recent birthdays into my newly organized under-the-bed storage box, shredded all of my old mail and grabbed one file folder and stuck everything I need to keep into it. That’s in the filing cabinet for when I have time to sort and re-file everything. Right now, it’s more important that the visible areas are clean. All of my make-up has been stuffed into make-up bags until I can actually sit down and dump it all out. 

Guys, I even HANDWASHED clothes in the bathroom sink today. God bless Woolite. 

Definitely making visible headway. Definitely going to stick to this “Throw away 50 things” concept. I have enough stuff to do this for days. 

Also, did I mention that I have unfucked my lack of exercise? I’ve been eating healthy, eating regularly, and exercising with Jillian Michaels regularly. I’m down 5 pounds since I started at the beginning of the year. Don’t need to lose weight… just the flub that has been pooling in my tummy for years. Again. Baby steps. 

On fun-sized advice.

This bitch is seriously the best. If you aren’t reading dearcoketalk, you are a fool. 

dearcoketalk:

Dear Coquette,

What’s the difference between pride and dignity?
Ego.


How do you kill your ego without killing your self-confidence?
Confidence doesn’t die with ego, only arrogance.


Can I kill somebody’s ego for him? It’s getting in the way of efforts to maintain friendliness and decency between us.
You can crush a man’s ego, but only he can kill it.


How do I reason with someone who is both dumb and mean?
With patience and small words.
 

How do you know if it’s justice that’s motivating you, not revenge?
If it’s motivating you, it’s revenge.


Do you suffer from post-party psychospiritual confusion? How do you deal with it? I’m very vulnerable to it, and wish I could just be rid of it entirely.
Don’t confuse an emotional hangover for an existential crisis.


Is my ex’s new girlfriend still a rebound if they get engaged?
Nope, she wasn’t his rebound. You were his prebound.


After getting out of a relationship, why does everyone seem so unappealing?
Puppet shows are no fun when all you can see are the strings.


Is it foolish to not care about money?
It depends on whether you have any.


Are you a bitterly wise older women or just an ordinary gay man?
Are you implying that gay men are ordinarily bitter or that younger women can’t be wise?


Now what do I do? My kids are away at school, I just turned 46, husband travels 50 percent of the time, and I can’t seem to get a job.
If you don’t need the income, volunteer. Otherwise, try temping. Don’t give up.


How do I build confidence and become emotionally self-sufficient?
It’s simple. First, find beauty in yourself. Then, don’t seek external validation for that beauty.


What is the difference between having high standards and having unreasonable expectations?
Expectations will disappoint you if they’re not met, and they will never be met if they’re unreasonable. High standards don’t come with built-in disappointment, only the rare pleasure experienced if they are finally reached.